Gameweek 3

Why do we love the Premiership?

I hate it, I was swearing at the f..ing TV as I missed out on all those juicy points.

20 goals in two games, thank you Salford and Manchester.


Confused United fans?
United scared the shit out of the rest of the league. They looked positively mercurial at times with Rooney and Young providing some of the best fantasy point hauls of recent times.


Lock up your grannies, I've got hair



18 million, what a bargain

Poor old Arsene, I was literally embarassed for him at some stages. Worst start in 20 years and a an absolute hammering at Old Trafford. Arsene decided to hide behind his new watch.

Nobody can see me, sacre bleu

Citeh looked to have added a new dimension to their approach play with Nasri and the combination with Silva. Mancini has bought the Bosnian equivalent of Shearer in Dzeko.


Round of applause, for me obviously

He got 4 from poaching, heading and a pearler of a finish passing into the top corner.


What is going on at Spurs, in-fighting I suspect. Modric asked Arry not to play. It really is not looking Robin Hood for his diamond geezers, he has managed to turn them from dog's dinners into a load of boozers?

Newcastle continue their surprisingly good start (sorry Sly) with a victory over Fulham.

Rampant Liverpool, two new acquisitions come good especially Haggis Mc Dougal


Get of me you great wee sissy

Even the over priced Geordie scored. Klasnic yet again on the score sheet but he can not help Bolton falling to a 3 - 1 loss.

Villa and Wolves play out a very dull Midlands derby. Both teams cancelled each other out, going to be a long season if Villa play like that!

Mata expertly applies



the icing to the top of the Chelsea bun although there defence is looking as leaky as a plumber apprentices soldering.

Its gonna cost ya

Kneivel scores a rooster. Drog is served some chin pie and is out for the count, concust. 11 minutes of extra time was played!

Blackburn barn door banjo springs to mind. They miss two penalties and then the Matador Arteta shows them how it is done and slots the Toffee's penalty past Augustas Gloop.

Franko Di Santo sounds like a mexican priest works wonders and scores twice to beat Rat's new club (serves them right).

Predictable draw from Swansea Sunderland game. The black cats are really struggling for goals and Swansea are yet to score (thanks for Benty turnip head).

Other scores


Not jumping on the Rooney, Young or Dzeko point left me absolutely gutted. Some huge place gains in the table and strangely no-one tipping the scales over 100 but three managers on 99. Well done, through gritted teeth.


Wildcard anyone??

Gameweek 2

The curse or blessing of the wildcard.

Put your hand up if you completely over hauled your team. Guilty as charged I am afraid, would have got far more points leaving it alone.

United school Tottenham 3 - 0, showing that you win nothing with kids. Jones, Cleverley, Wellback, Smailing were great and Young and Rooney were also brilliant. Arry's lot looked like they were back at school being taught a lesson

When I grow up I am going to be a footballer like Wayne Rooney - Gareth Bale aged 5
33% of managers experienced the big flop syndrome

placing Aguero in their side (I was one of the sheep). He was later substituted for El Mercenary Carlitos Tevitez who looked so chuffed to be there. Bolton gave them a great game and it ended up 2 - 3, Klasnic with an accomplished finish and Davies with a header either side of half time.
Dzeko looked effective and David Silva turned in a man of the match performance both scoring goals, although Jugugwaatatslllinnneannn was too blame for Silvas. Gareth Barry scored an absolute peach shaving Micah Richards face in the process.


Ha weigh man, Newcy brown ale anyone! Yes we had a visit to Newcastle to the cultural 'epicenter' of England

Rat Barton tasted his medicine and it is bitter. Old Seb 'Uruguay' Larsson


But I never touched it ref init ...........
did a Schmeichel star jump to keep the rats header out first half. Best of all the ref did not see it :-). Tynewear Derby and the toon army showed that football really is a game of two halves. Sunderland looked great especially Sessegnon and Elmohamdy. Newcastle ended up nicking it with a Ryan Taylor goal.

Cockney wide boys Chelsea looked shambolic at the back first half with Alex the Brazilian donkey
letting Shane Long Odds ride him!





 


AVB doing his Mourinho impressions is already getting boring.


I held the ball first, I am the special one "No I am the special one" etc...
Appears Jose clone is also a fan of Mata at Valencia, him and Arsene both. He started with Torres and the incredible sulk upfront, later realised he needed some presence and threw on the Drog. WB lived with them very well first half and caused them problems. Cole and Boswingwa bombed on and started creating chances. Anelka got the first as Franky play acted on the floor sulk picked it up and slotted it past Ben Affleck. Portugals Evil Knievel


crossed it for Malouda to slot, huge collective sigh of relief at Stamford bridge. Odemwingie made a cameo appearance and managed to rile up Terry Bentley!

Poor old Arsene if it does not rain it pisses it down. Nasri played but he certainly has the look of a man dreaming of Arab gold. Kenny started with the Gorgeous pony tail


Continuing the tradition of Liverpool strikers, bloody awful hair cuts.
but Arsenal dealt well with the ball into the box (for a change). Arsenal lack penetration at the Emirates and Suarez pops up again with a goal. Mr T gets himself sent off and Kos limped off, surely its time to dust of the cheque book Arsene.

Pity the fool who thinks I can replace chorizo boy.

A freak own goal topped of a rather miserable afternoon at the Emirates.


Villa have a good result at home 3 - 1 which I attribute to Blackburn being as bad as Villa were good. Two highly unlikey scorers in Gabbi (Brat Trick) Agbonlahor, and Cart Horse Heskey.
Gabbi scores off the pitch plenty as you can see, all pregnant at the same time. LEGEND !!


Bent the poacher chipped in and gay boy Pedersen


Cooeee boys
scored a good header inbetween that to make Given selectors sad!

Everton do an Everton, early doors.


Sausages woof moyes a good boy then

They are like a little dog, when you stroke his back they roll over and let you tickle their belly.
Tommy Smith with a neat finish for QPR.

After tipping Vorm last week, he gets 11 pts for saving a penalty and getting a clean sheet. Does not help when he is on the bench does it.

Other scores



To the table and L33t Wolves and SlyFoxes fighting it out sharing the top spot, like savage animals. Great weekends from MasterBT, Sly Fox, Robin and Henry for his first ever Fantasy week scoring some good points Only 21 points between the top 10 places, every one knows the league is not won in August ask Sir Beetroot he'll tell you.

Until next week, good luck managers.

Official Apology from FPL

Fantasy Premier League - An Apology

A statement has been issued regarding the Fantasy Premier League game.

As some of you are aware, many fans trying to access Fantasy Premier League on Friday afternoon and Saturday morning will have experienced problems logging in or registering teams prior to the Gameweek 1 deadline.
‪
While the demand reached unprecedented levels on Saturday morning, we fell short of the standards you expect from the world's biggest fantasy football game and make no excuses for what was both a frustrating and disappointing experience ahead of the new season. For this we apologise unreservedly.

technical issue

Our technical teams have been working throughout the weekend to ensure the technical issue that led to the problems experienced by users are dealt with. Work also continues to improve the quality of your experience with additional steps taken in the game itself that enable you to:

‪1. Receive unlimited transfers
No points will be deducted for any transfers you make up to the Gameweek 2 deadline (11:30 BST on Saturday 20th August 2011). If you have already made transfers and had points deducted, these will be restored to your overall total by midnight on Tuesday 16th August 2011. If you have already opted to play your wildcard, this too will be restored at the same time.

‪2. Opt to start mini-league scoring at Gameweek 2
The option is available to all mini-league administrators to start the scoring from Gameweek 2. Go to 'Leagues' > 'League name' > 'Administer' > Select 'Gameweek 2' in 'Scoring Starts' drop-down menu and click 'Update league details'.

‪3. Win a VIP trip to watch Man Utd v Chelsea
The manager of the team that accumulates the most points in Gameweeks 2, 3 & 4 will win a VIP trip for two to watch Man Utd v Chelsea on Sunday 18th September 2011 . The prize includes all transport, two nights' accommodation, match tickets, pre-match hospitality and £250 spending money. If there is a tie between teams, the team with the fewest transfers between Gameweeks 2-4 will win the trip. In the event of a further tie, the winner will be selected at random.

‪4. Win a new monthly prize - iPad2
Each monthly winner of Fantasy Premier League 2011/12 will be able to choose between receiving an iPad2 or the current monthly prize (replica shirt, iPod nano & digital camera). The runner-up will then receive whichever prize is not claimed by the monthly winner.

isolated case

‪Having monitored many of the comments that have been posted on message boards, via blogs, in forums and on social networks, we hope the following additional points will also help clarify some of the queries raised:

∙ Fantasy Premier League (FPL) is still run by ISM Fantasy Games. The FPL site was redesigned in order to incorporate new features and in order to maintain consistency with the next version of the Premier League's official site. The problems experienced on Saturday are not related to the new look nor are they the fault of ISM Fantasy Games.

∙ EA SPORTS sponsor the official match statistics across the Premier League website and were not involved in the rebuild of this season's Fantasy Premier League game nor responsible in any way for the issues suffered by users over the weekend.

∙ The login/registration system had to be upgraded during the summer - this service is delivered by a new third party provider and is the most significant change from previous seasons.

∙ The live updates will be functioning for Gameweek 2.

∙ All league standings will be updated after each points update as per previous seasons. The single update for Gameweek 1 was an isolated case.

∙ If you have problems logging in, please try resetting your password by entering your email address on this page: https://users.premierleague.com/PremierUser/login/reset_password.html. You'll be emailed a new password to use that you can change to something more memorable once you've logged in by visiting 'My Account'. If you are not receiving the password reminder, please check your Junk folder in your email inbox and add noreply@send.premierleague.com to your Mailing List to ensure that the email arrives in your inbox.

∙ Please continue to email support@mail.fantasy.premierleague.com with any issues you experience on the site with login, points updates etc.

‪Again, we are extremely sorry for any inconvenience caused and diminished enjoyment of Fantasy Premier League.

We are confident that the measures in place will prevent any repeat of the issues players of Fantasy Premier League encountered at the weekend and hope you are looking forward to another exciting season as much as we are.

Gameweek 1

That's right fantasy managers we are back and now in a blog format.

It was a rather unpredictable start to the Premier League this year with only one home victory and only 18 goals scoring avg of 2 goals per game compared to 2.8 for last season. They have some catching up to do! Lots of draws and few of the touted top 4 sides slipped up. A special shout out has to go to the managers who still had Tottenham and Everton players in their side, thanks for the laughs rioters.

It has finally gone through, Cesc has gone for £35 mil. He was fantasy gold in the 2009 - 2010 season. I am just wondering if he remembers the World Cup, Xavi, Iniesta and Busquets were the players who kept him out of the team. They also happen to play for Barca, worlds most expensive bench warmer?



Undoubtedly the biggest talking point of the weekend was the culmination of all the FA and Premierships hard work in punting the "Respect" campaign.

Only they forgot to tell Joey Barton, what a twat!!



Twitter have had to design a brand new icon especially for Joey.



Although he has been quoting literature and Smiths songs over Twitter he is not pulling the wool over our eyes. Is it just me or could you just as easy imagine seeing him set fire to a car or looting Sony Bravia's from a broken shop window. The first flash point involved Song stamping on Joey and the second incident involved Gervinho bitch slapping JB. Gervinho was direct, fast and looked great until a rush of blood deservedly saw him sent off. I also think Arsene should treat him to a looser headband, does his head remind you of anything?



Arsenal were held to a draw and things look difficult if Nasri goes and Walcott, Ramsey and Wilshere can not fill the void.


To the noisy neighbours, step forward El Kun Sergio Aguero, he truly announced himself on the scene with aplomb.
Citeh looked absolutely frightening once they got started in the second half scoring 4 goals. Shout out to the Swansea keeper for stopping it being a cricket score. What a debut from Aguero, 2 goals and an assist... also good performances from Silva and Yaya!


To other matters, AVB went for the safe political choice to start with Nando @ Stoke. I would have thought Drog was a much better option but I thought Nando led the line well and looked far more focused. Chelsea still only managed a draw after throwing on all the heavy artillery. Also 0 - 0.



Bolton hand newly promoted QPR a spanking 0 - 4, with a fantastic goal from Defender Gary Cahill. Almost as good as David Villa's against Real, I said almost.



United started well with a great Rooney goal but ended up letting The Baggies back in the game.



As we had seen in the Charity Shield, David De Gea has some acclimatising to do in the English game. Old celery wrists let a tame shot from Shane Long through and was then pummeled second half. He has a lot of pressure to grow into Van der Sar or even Schmeichel boots as a United legend.



United were however saved by Ashley Young astutely crossing it for two WBA players to deflect it into their own net. I still do not have to like it though, N'Zogbia is no Young or Downing.

Liverpool first half looked frightening... Adam pulling strings, Downing full of confidence with a run from inside his own ½ and rattling the bar and of course Mr Suarez. His penalty was awful (Richardson should have gone imo) but everything else he did was magnificent. Great glancing header from an Adam delivery. I thought it was going to be a matter of how many but Brucey's Sunderland also spent money in the close season.

Ironically one of the free transfer Old Seb Larsson popped up with a mercurial finish. The game finished 1 - 1.



Here are the other scores



Now to the table and it has been a slow start for all, especially El Scorpiano and Shake and Bake.



If you are keen to make it interesting this year, some of us are having a R100 bet. Let me know by commenting on this post below. Euan 'Double Hard Bastard' Marshall will be collecting! Tasty...

Great to back I am sure you will agree.

Good Luck