Gameweek 25

Yes he is at it again, the biggest talking point of the weekend was the much anticipated handshake that never was with Suarez pulling a Bridge.

Evra also played his part and showed Dirty Suarez his celebratory victory windmill at the end which I really enjoyed, he is French after all. 

Not touching, cant get mad

Fergie called El Dirto a disgrace and suggested Liverpool should sell him, I just think Suarez cannot help himself he is a menace not unlike a South American Bart Simpson.

He apologizes profusely after the event again, this the racist, hand-balling, biting, gesturing child. I just wonder why anyone is surprised when he misbehaves! Kenny made an absolute twat out of himself and also apologised for his post match interview and reaction.


Besides that United won the game with two quick great goals from Rooney and a consolation from you guessed it Bart Suarez.

Am an aerrroplane like ....  NEEOOOAAAHHH

League leaders arrive at Villa park and Big Ek unleashes his attacking midfielder Emile Heskey. Citeh struggled to score again away from home despite numerous chances. It it eventually came from the man who looks like he has been run over. 

Face for Radio, Lescott

When Zog and Ireland came on Villa had two great chances to take a point out of the game.

Mick McCarthy gets the sack as All Dem Wingies and Woys boys pile on the bragging rights in the Black Country derby. Maybe Roy Keane will get the job?

Tata Mick

Tottenham steam roller Newcastle, Saha had a debut to remember as Ade and him speak fluent goals. Saha with two and Adebayor with one goal and four assists.

Where have you been all my life??

Roman visits Chelski training twice in a week and no AVB it's not a coincidence. 

But boss you signed him, I told you he was shit

Toothless Chelsea were beaten soundly by Toffees who are again predictably on their second half of the season run.

Mertesacker gets shot by a sniper and McClean profited by getting the opener for Sunderland. Pin ball wizard Ramsey got the equaliser for the Gooners hitting both posts and then Arsehaven setup Thierry for the winner and I eat my words fat legend indeed.

Milk was a bad choice

Bye bye Bobby Hello Poggy at Craven Cottage as the new Fulhams striker opened his account. 

POGGGGYYY 

Dempsey smashed a drive onto the bar that hit Sorrensen and went in. Shawcross got a consolidation goal for the Potters and three bonus points EA SPORTS PPI bullshit??

Other scores

To the table and it is a mediocre Gameweek for most apart from 666 who got a Adebayortastic 86! To the top 5 and Nick scores 55 and goes into second, El Scorpiano is the victim dropping two places to fourth. FA cup this weekend, how dull.

Gameweek 24

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow ..........



Best second half of the season at Stamford Bridge due to drama and awful refereeing from Howard 'Best Ref' Webb.

Some of the dodgiest penalties decisions since Uriah Rennie. It has been a decade since United have won there. Danny boy found wonder kid Evans chest to rebound past El Grincho.

Ive got it covered so I do Grinchy

Utd went close through Welbeck. Nando bends it like Beckham for the so far disappointing Mata who ironically had one of his best games to technique it in with the side foot on the volley, ole.

Boinnggggg NETTTTT

Mata then swung in a great ball for David Luiz aka Ferdinand to head past De Gay. To the penalties and Wazza fell back onto the score sheet and dispatched both with great composure.

The indecisive Lemon and Herb Nando squander a great chance leaving the diminutive Cheap Dorito to head United level in between two six foot + centre halves.

You got this one Sideshow??

To the noisy neighbours and Citeh welcomed Fulhams sans Zamora to a very white Etihad. Kun strummed his guitar after stroking home a penalty with no Egotelli around.

Air Guitar fail

A Johnson setup Baird for Citehs second as they pushed on. After dusting off the lines for snow Kun setup the poor mans Bosnian Shearer unselfishly.

Blackburn mauled by Arsenal as Walcott, Arteta, The Ox, Van the Man and even Henry grabbed attacking points galore. It was a master class of attacking football and reminded us how good they can be! Gunners were 3 - 1 up when Givet put in a shocker on Freddie and was red carded. Robin scoring an incredible 23 pts with three goals and two assists, jack a nack a noori.

I put the bun in the oven, 3 times oh yeah

Liverpool - Tottenham proved to be a stalemate, the most exciting part of the game was when a cat walked onto the pitch. 8 draws at Anfield now for Kenny!

Meeoow I am the draw cat

A sorry looking Villa got Senegaled by Ba and Cisse at Sports Direct Arena. R Taylor goes off injured but still gets an assist, what a double bastard. Keane drew the game with a good feed from Zog. Cisse finish for the winner was top draw.

Honey Monster gets tight, wanker

McClean scores a wonder goal for the Black Cats and of course Sess had something to do with it.

Other scores

To the table and courtesy of RVP some gargantuan scored this week with a goliath 100 from El Scorpiano, Ayoba Mr Christophle who jumps over Ant. AVFC's other Cape Town fan coming in with a very respectable 93 and Nick and Euie Pooh also come in over 90.

Gameweek 23

Handcuffs, own goals and saved penalties

What for you strange little man??

Citeh lose to Moyes Sticky Toffees, Wart Hog got the winner and a better leaving gift than a voucher for Fergie.

Gibson's first for Everton

Utd make Stoke pay the penalty with Berbs and Cheap Dorito convert two penos awarded.

AVB gets lucky at the Liberty, Swans again out play a top 6 side. Sinclair scored a rooster which was cancelled out with an own goal assisted by Evil Kneivel

Sinclair high fives the imaginary bear

Fulham also snatched a draw from the jaws of victory as Woys boys get a late equaliser.  Yank got one for the Cottagers but Woys lads got a draw from Tchoyi.

Bale goes ape on Wigan scoring two and should of had his hat trick

Liverpool away from home looked in good form, get them to Anfield they feel the pressure. Kuyt, Carrol yes yes I know and Salami.

Dirk borrowed Stevie G's kit

Villa give the transfer window happy R's a head start at Villa park with the mad as a bag of frogs Cisse getting one on his debut.

Both bonkers

More amazingly Villa give them a two goal start and still came back through Benty and the Zog.

Well in Benty

Toon defenders please lots of fantasy managers especially R Taylor the bastard by not conceding at Blackburn. Obertan adding the second after a Dann own goal.

Good goal, shit footballers signature. Not enough squiggles

The gunners Arsenal is firing more blanks with RVP seriously unlucky not to add more goals to his tally. Ox was full of industry and Walcott full of shit finishing, Bolton also came close with N'Gog.



Sessignon is on fire but Campbell almost showed him up with a great goal and scintillating cross for Sess to finish of his great approach play.

I'm gorgeous

Cameos from McClean and Bardsley

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Other scores

To the table and a rather large dollop of points for Shakey Bakey, with Nick Nock, Anty Panties and Top Dog Euie cementing their place in the top 4.

Gameweek 22

It was a weekend for celebrating Americana and a new King rat standing on the top of the podium.

Clint 'Bald Eagle' Dempsey

Dempsey's achievement will be explained later on but first step forward the new rat in town, Ratio Ratatelli. He has been banned but I just wish they had thrown the book at him, what he did was no worse than what Suarez did to Evra. Then he has the cheek to say he is considering quitting English football because he is being persecuted, its easy Mario stop being an arrogant twat, play football NO PROBLEM.

Citeh hosted Tottenham and got out the blocks like Usain Bolt,

Related to Balotelli?

 great ball from Silva for the glove wearing Nasri (ponce).

Great finish

Lescott then bundled the ball over for 2 nil. Only now did Arry's boys realise they should start playing, Savic at fault for a hopeful ball out of the Spurs defence caught under the ball and Defoe went through and slotted it past Hart. Bale then added a fantastic passed curling effort with dip swerve much like a banana. Chimp later passed Defoe in on the break but Defoe missed by a lick of paint. Step forward Ego Ratatelli with a disgraceful kick in the head on Scott Parker vs the world.

What a massive RAT

 Irony was he stayed on the pitch won and dispatched a penalty and pulled his usual Sugar Loaf pose.

We wish you were in Brazil, you nut

Happy 91 st birthday Grandad Wim was the message from the Emirates, Oh and Arsenal still are nowhere near United is the other.

Robin nervously reads the dyslexic kit mans handy work

Chamberlain who setup RVP for his megs on Evans was subbed off for the Russian rascal much to the displeasure of the Gunners faithful and Robin himself. United were good value for two however with a great header from the MOTM Valencia beating Vermaelen, great Giggs cross.

They added the second after RVP's goal through great work from Valencia skinning Arse shavin and passing for Blade to blast in.

Welbeck shows Wazza how its done

Cahill sat it out on his perch and Lumphard limped off early doors.Chelski drew a blank against Norwich who had conceded in every game before facing Nambi Pambi. Should it be a bookable offence for passing to Torres and the big lad Carroll for time wasting?

That's the 2nd time you've passed to Nando, your off

He make a joke

It is funny HA HA

They are looking lacking in something at the moment called genuine goal threat! Why play Sturridge on the wing? 

Game of two halves they say, well Craven Cottage certainly demonstrated that. Newcastle were good value for their one goal lead at the break Guthrie scoring a belter. Whatever Jol gave the lads from Amsterdam worked as they scored 5 in the second half. Yanky doodle getting the first ever hat trick scored by an American in the Prem and Zamora scoring one and setting up 3.

Mohammed Al-Fayed has erected a diner outside Craven Cottage in Dempseys honour

A return of 37 fantasy points between them, guaranteed awesomeness.

I scored more Fantasy points than you Zam

Ben ½ fa added a great consolation goal.  

Away from Anfield and Kenny is sharpening his axe as a lacklustre Liverpool fail to win at the leakiest defence in the league.

HERE.....SSSS KENNY!!

Bolton bossed the game and took the game by the scruff of the neck. Davies, Joker and a strikers finish from Steinsson. Bellamy got one and nearly got one from Joker as well as they tried to compete for the most annoying idiot in the prem. The usually cheerful Scott promised heads would roll for the display, perhaps Kenny should look in the mirror.  

Sessignon and Sunderland continued their great run with a win over Swansea.  

Stoke were surprised by stressed Roy's side, not as surprised as Morrison was to see Sorrenson fumble his shot.

Anyone seen Begovic anywhere?

Brick layer missed a penalty for Stoke and left it to D'Angelo to get one for the potters. Woys boys got the winner and lifter them further out of trouble.  

Happy Birthday Big Ek as Keano makes his first Villa start 10 years too late and scored two on his return to Molineux. His second was from the top drawer with a perfect first touch with the left and pile driver finish with the right.

Great finish from the leprechaun

Henry got himself sent off for trying to make a doner kebab out of Albrighton.

Oscar for Albrighton, Taxi for Henry

Other scores

To the table and Mr Nick gets 65, hamburger assisted with 40 from Dempsey as captain! Myself, Euie and Dr Dre also feature in the mid fifties. Top three remains intact with Mr Nick making a charge towards the top!