Gameweek 12

Total football is a total farce! Just ask Chelsea and Swansea. The Dutch had it right with Ajax and the Dutch national side. 

Johan Cruyff ambassador of total football and eating the fat bastard

The need to play the football out, have the keeper roll it out or the defenders pass it out has cost them dearly and is the main reason Chelski especially have been shipping so man goals.

The Toon army finally lose their unbeaten record at Citeh yet Ba still managed to get points out of the game, this seasons Odemwingie?

All dem girls them love that Ba ba

Balotelli celebration after a harsh penalty against one of the Taylor's who also messed up for Richards goal, Kun added a penalty.

Mario practicing his Cosack dancing 

Villa pitch up at Whitehart lane with Big Mac's creative / passing side. NOT they tried to be negative at the best attacking sides ground and were embarrassed as Tottenham looked they we training on a Monday morning. Adebayor could have had 5 and Parker and Bale were brilliant. Hutton, Heskey and Cuellar were played out of position and we have decent youth players in those positions. What's the worst that can happen?

Giggs plays in Wales and the Swansea lads can really play, which ultimately was their undoing as 'Total Football' Rangel was caught with his pants Dow and Giggs fed the little pea.

What a poacher, pheasants beware

Liverpool fielded an inspired team with Bellamy and Maxi starting and still no place for the Geordie battering ram. Liverpool played and pressed well, King Kenny had his tactics spot on. Useless Mikel caught on the ball from a Cech throw that was never on from Adam which led to the first 'total waste of time'. Sturridge scored for Chelsea and celebrated like a gay in a straight jacket. 

Get in your own half Dan your making a twat out of yourself

Again Chelsea's woeful defending cost them with Glenn Johnson making Terry and Cole look a right pair of idiots.

Never fuck with your Ex's

Golf appeared to be the theme at Carrow road, RVP scored a brace and celebrated with Theo. 

Lame Theo

Gervinho was wasteful, Mertesackers generous defending again was on show. Robin tapped in and chipped in over the keeper with a lovely chip from the rough.

Other mentionable action being Stokes mo's being awesome unlike the way they are playing right now Helgusson scoring two great goals.

The battle at the bottom proved a great game with the corner that never was. Bird man and pretty boy the culprits, the Norwegian getting away with a shocker. Calls their sportsman ship into question but I suppose when your scrapping for your life you will do anything including sell your grandmas kidney.

Other scores

To the table and JZ, Nick Nock and myself have solid weekends with Master BT staying at the top. El Scorpiano

going the wrong way down the league for the first time in a while, cue the violins....

Gameweek 11

25 years of Fergie, what a legend. His record speaks for itself 1411 games in-charge and has won 838. That is almost 60% win ratio not to mention the countless trophies, doubles and trebles.

I have most enjoyed his chewing gum like a washing machine, the hair dryer treatment, squeaky bum time, his time keeping like a Swiss Cuckoo clock and of course the mind games with Keegan, Benitez and especially Wenger.

Conflict with Fergie has also been a catalyst over the years for some massive players to leave the club like

Paul Ince, Jaap Stam, Dwight Yorke, David Beckham, Ruud van Nistelrooy. Everybody thought they would be missed but Fergies philosophy that no one player is bigger than United has held true.

To the game week and it was a dull occasion at Old Trafford and United are not having it there own way at the moment. The Sir Alex Ferguson stand was about the most exciting thing witnessed and Welbeck aka Wes Brown scored the goal for 1 - 0 victory.


Lamps applied the bandage to Chelsea's wounds with another goal against Blackburn. Torres misses another sitter, but marvels of marvels Chelski get a clean sheet

Ban banners int ground and ill hire an aerooooo-plane Keano

QPR caused Citeh problems at Loftus, Bothroyd with a header for the opener. Dzeko squared things up and Dogtanian added the second with a classy goal. QPR equalised through the currently on fire Helgusson. Yaya added an excellent  header to make it 3 -2, Citeh can also grind them out BEWARE....

Ya ya the exotic fruit

R Taylor screamer (GOS contender) wins the day against Everton

We don't need Batman we have Robin says the Gunners on a consistent dare I say it run.

Arsenals new home and away strip

Vermalean looking back to his best scoring with Arteta and you can guess who else scored.

Pool were held to a surprisingly draw by the Taffs with Dutchman Vorm having a blinder.

I laugh at your shots, gobble gobble

Villa Norwich was a goal fest has to be said the defending was shocking. Villa only seem to win when Gabbi and Bent score! Pilkington scored a brilliant freekick.

Banana man in scintillating form helped Spurs win there London derby but Fulham were totally on top in the second half. Lennon and Defoe added the others and Bassong's arm scored Fulham's only goal.

Bolton thrashed Stoke with Eagles scoring great points with two goals and an assist. Ended up 5 - 0, ouch.

Better left on the bench according to JZ :-)

Other scores

To the table and great scores from Nick Nock, Headbutter, Robiniho.

The meteoric rise of El Scorpiano seems to be directly correlated to Arsenal winning some football matches, tip of the hat to you Mr Christohple. Master BT stays top with a solid score, I break into the top 5 again and get a nose bleed.

Gameweek 10

Defending, what has happened to it?? The art of the block, sliding tackle and showing the winger onto his weaker foot has all but disappeared. A case in point the London derby, Chelsea - Arsenal. Do not get me wrong, this is one of the best games entertainment wise I have seen for a long time.

It seems that they have all been to the Roberto Carlos defending school

I can swerve free-kicks, defending??

modelling themselves on Brazilian wing backs. Great pushing on forward, terrible when asked to face up and pick up a man. Bosingwa, Cole, Santos (obviously), Terry and Per 'Usual' Mertesacker (in great need of Vermaelen).

To the game and King Robin has scored 28 in 27 games and ½ Arsenals goals this season adding a great hattrick, what are they going to do when he gets injured?

Bergkamp, Wright and VP - Gooner Legends

 Mata has started to really step up for Chelski and added and assist and great goal to level up 3 - 3

It ended up 3 - 5, great game for the neutral not for their defending coach Cafu Carlitos

Newcastle are still confounding the critics and got a phenomenal result away at Stoke. Notable performance from the big guy again upfront and the Toons hard hitting midfield.

Tasty Hat-Trick from Baaaaa

To Goodison

United line-up

United kept it tight and shut-up up shop, although the Toffee's bring the dynamite and a pneumatic drill.
Cheap Dorito got the only goal of the game, Everton gave them a thorough examination.

I not cheap holmes, I cost 10 million fantasy monies

Fergie played Rooney in the holding role in midfield as ironically he seems the only player in the squad who is able to sit in there and push on.

Wesley where are you son? I am striker like!

Wolves were resilient and managed to hold out for 52 mins. Rotation Mancini put in Dzeko who scored the first goal. Kolarov and A Johnson added the goals, AJ is in supreme form with a clinical pass round Brandy. Ended 3 - 1.

First choice in any other team in the Prem, not at Citeh Merry-Go-Round

Pool wipped out WBA with Adam filling the scouse like void in the middle of the park. Carrol paid back some of his £35 mil price tag (did they really pay that for him)

Chimp and Tulip helped remind us how bad QPR are, many heart celebrations ahoy from Monkey Boy. They win the game 3 - 1

Parker congratulates Gareth

Other Scores

To the table

Revenge of MasterBT is sitting pretty on the top of the table after a solid gameweek score and a the other top 5 not firing. As he and Sir Beetroot knows, the league is not won in November ;-)

Other notable point tallies from El Scorpiano, Robin, Nick Nock, Cesar the Geezer, Dr Dre, and Zi-Zou.