Gameweek 22

It was a weekend for celebrating Americana and a new King rat standing on the top of the podium.

Clint 'Bald Eagle' Dempsey

Dempsey's achievement will be explained later on but first step forward the new rat in town, Ratio Ratatelli. He has been banned but I just wish they had thrown the book at him, what he did was no worse than what Suarez did to Evra. Then he has the cheek to say he is considering quitting English football because he is being persecuted, its easy Mario stop being an arrogant twat, play football NO PROBLEM.

Citeh hosted Tottenham and got out the blocks like Usain Bolt,

Related to Balotelli?

 great ball from Silva for the glove wearing Nasri (ponce).

Great finish

Lescott then bundled the ball over for 2 nil. Only now did Arry's boys realise they should start playing, Savic at fault for a hopeful ball out of the Spurs defence caught under the ball and Defoe went through and slotted it past Hart. Bale then added a fantastic passed curling effort with dip swerve much like a banana. Chimp later passed Defoe in on the break but Defoe missed by a lick of paint. Step forward Ego Ratatelli with a disgraceful kick in the head on Scott Parker vs the world.

What a massive RAT

 Irony was he stayed on the pitch won and dispatched a penalty and pulled his usual Sugar Loaf pose.

We wish you were in Brazil, you nut

Happy 91 st birthday Grandad Wim was the message from the Emirates, Oh and Arsenal still are nowhere near United is the other.

Robin nervously reads the dyslexic kit mans handy work

Chamberlain who setup RVP for his megs on Evans was subbed off for the Russian rascal much to the displeasure of the Gunners faithful and Robin himself. United were good value for two however with a great header from the MOTM Valencia beating Vermaelen, great Giggs cross.

They added the second after RVP's goal through great work from Valencia skinning Arse shavin and passing for Blade to blast in.

Welbeck shows Wazza how its done

Cahill sat it out on his perch and Lumphard limped off early doors.Chelski drew a blank against Norwich who had conceded in every game before facing Nambi Pambi. Should it be a bookable offence for passing to Torres and the big lad Carroll for time wasting?

That's the 2nd time you've passed to Nando, your off

He make a joke

It is funny HA HA

They are looking lacking in something at the moment called genuine goal threat! Why play Sturridge on the wing? 

Game of two halves they say, well Craven Cottage certainly demonstrated that. Newcastle were good value for their one goal lead at the break Guthrie scoring a belter. Whatever Jol gave the lads from Amsterdam worked as they scored 5 in the second half. Yanky doodle getting the first ever hat trick scored by an American in the Prem and Zamora scoring one and setting up 3.

Mohammed Al-Fayed has erected a diner outside Craven Cottage in Dempseys honour

A return of 37 fantasy points between them, guaranteed awesomeness.

I scored more Fantasy points than you Zam

Ben ½ fa added a great consolation goal.  

Away from Anfield and Kenny is sharpening his axe as a lacklustre Liverpool fail to win at the leakiest defence in the league.

HERE.....SSSS KENNY!!

Bolton bossed the game and took the game by the scruff of the neck. Davies, Joker and a strikers finish from Steinsson. Bellamy got one and nearly got one from Joker as well as they tried to compete for the most annoying idiot in the prem. The usually cheerful Scott promised heads would roll for the display, perhaps Kenny should look in the mirror.  

Sessignon and Sunderland continued their great run with a win over Swansea.  

Stoke were surprised by stressed Roy's side, not as surprised as Morrison was to see Sorrenson fumble his shot.

Anyone seen Begovic anywhere?

Brick layer missed a penalty for Stoke and left it to D'Angelo to get one for the potters. Woys boys got the winner and lifter them further out of trouble.  

Happy Birthday Big Ek as Keano makes his first Villa start 10 years too late and scored two on his return to Molineux. His second was from the top drawer with a perfect first touch with the left and pile driver finish with the right.

Great finish from the leprechaun

Henry got himself sent off for trying to make a doner kebab out of Albrighton.

Oscar for Albrighton, Taxi for Henry

Other scores

To the table and Mr Nick gets 65, hamburger assisted with 40 from Dempsey as captain! Myself, Euie and Dr Dre also feature in the mid fifties. Top three remains intact with Mr Nick making a charge towards the top!

Gameweek 21

Lock up your Grandmas, the codgers are back.

Henry and Scholes on the sub bench

With their zimmerman frames and tales of when I was a lad emanating from the dressing room. It smacks of desperation and having no faith in your existing squad to bring in Henry and Scholes. What must Arshavin and Anderson think the young wipper snappers?

Second managerial casualty and Warnock goes. Sparky steps into the breach and looks thoroughly miserable about the whole thing. 

I cant believe I am here either to be honest

He would have been even more miserable after watching how toothless they were against the Toon army with Best doing a Bergkamp impression for a great goal.

Arsenal make an arse out of themselves and are played of the park by a very Arsenal looking style of good possession football. It looked service as usual when RVP get the opener but the Swans were having none of it. Dyer had another great game scoring and winning the penalty that infuriated Arsene, no surprise there then.

Your shit and you know you are

That was a decision against Arsenal, it must be injustice

Sinclair and Allen looked great in the middle of the park. Walcott and Arshavin must frustrate Arsene more than never managing to get a coat that fits.

I look ridiculous, it is clearly too big

They missed Arteta in the middle with Benayoun and later Rosicky not replacing the matador. Graham got the winner when Theo finally provided some end product. It ended 3 - 2, what a game it was.

United cruised past Bolton with not so follicular challenged Rooney turned provider. Scholes actually scored to make me eat my sprouts! Other goals from Welbeck and a cheeky finish from the crab sealed a comfy one for Sir Beetroot.

Scholes at the back post

Yes Micheal you scored

Chelski ended MON's momentum with a shaky one goal victory provided by the a lucky one for Lumphard. Sessignon played well but did not provided any attacking points. Sunderland spurned some good opportunities.

Stoke visited Anfield looking for a draw and as many have found out this season Liverpool duly obliged. They do know that when your at home your supposed to attack and not pack the midfield, right Kenny?

Stoke park the bus at Anfield

How the bleedin hell have you bunch of mugs not beaten that big beaked Charlies clowns this afternoon. Arry suitably frustrated with conceding a soft goal and not capitalising on the copious amounts of chances presented to his forwards. With 22 shots to Wolves 5 and 57% of the possession Arry will be thinking Remy is a essential bit of business if he is to carry on the assault of the Mancunians.
 

You want moi Arrrrry

Notable results for Sweaty Baby, MON clone and Alan Parwho.

Monday and bottom faced top, Bob vs Bob, Wigan - Citeh at the DW Stadium. Edin Dzeko got the only goal of a dull affair. Citeh are grinding out results, Kun also looked a threat and Dogtanian provided the assist. Dzeko later stole the ball from Kun after an amazing mazy run and wasted the chance.

Kun forgot to beat Edin as well

Other results

 
To the table and Ant rinsed everyone with a magnificent 75, bonus points, assist and goals bursting out of his side. Big up. Speaking of big up the big guys lock horns at the weekend, will Citeh lose at the Etihad?

 

Gameweek 20

It's double time as Spurs and Everton play two games!
No win in four for Chelsea but managed to stumble past Wolves. Nambi Pambi Nando

That's how its done Nando, I dun the mug

started and Lamps but in a shocker on Hammil showing he is no pussy, deserved red. Cashley was kicking anything that moved as Chelski lost their discipline. Ramires got the first and went and had a group hug with AVB.

We all love AVB

Ward equalised with a sweet strike, Lump hard who should not have been on the pitch added the winner for Romans rebels.
Villa are consistently inconsistent and lose to Swansea at home. Warnock made Dyers new year with a no look back pass. Dyer made Warnock look asleep tormenting him the entire game. 

Bosnich got in trouble for that Nathan

Routledge got his first ever Prem goal, he has played for seven clubs!

Original Rat got a goal and then sent off for a head butt! It can only be Joey Barton.

What do you mean you don't follow me on twitter

What a scum bag! Norwich went on to win obviously as the R's looking good for relegation with out serious activity in the window.

Pepe dived over Bullis goal with a weetabix dive. 

Pepe praying that did not just happen

Exotic scored a powerful header and will be missed. Jim bob added a penalty after Yaya was downed by Schmeiges. 3 - 0.


Virgin money the Toon armys sponsor and United play like a bunch of timid virgins.

United starting 11

They had not beaten United for a decade but Utd were pathetic in everything they did. Without the Serbian mob boss

I would have smothered them

they look thoroughly delicate and Ba and Ameba bullied them again as Yak did last week. Cabaye added brilliant second which took of like a rocket, wind assisted.

Jones pressed the self destruct button in his own box stooping when he should have been clearing.

Wengers Gooners choked in the London derby and Jols boys seem to have turned the corner. The defence looked very makeshift, surely Arsene should have a dip into the transfer window. Djourou saw red for two clumsy tackles.

If I just pretend I am not here he will send Kos off

The deputising Stockdale was kept very busy in the first half with some brilliant saves. Koscielny got the opener with a good header from a corner. Sidwell got Fulhams equaliser and Mac the knife got the winner with a clinical finish.

Tottenham had Arry worried but eventually Defoe got the winner set up by chimp boy against the Baggies. Both Sandro and Gallas hobbled off.

The prolific Tim Howard scored at Bolton but it was still not enough as the less prolific Ngog and Cahill scored for quassis boys.

Everton lost Jag, Rodwell and Osman during the game.

In miserable weather the Black Cats continue their great form under MON the messiah. Scoring 4 with two great goals from Gardner and Vaughan. How does he do it?


Finally the much awaited Tottenham - Everton fixture and Everton were ravaged by injuries to an already depleted squad. Arry's boys played great football and it was no surprise after chipping away that Chav cut in off the wing and scuffed a left footed shot under everyone. Second half and Bale, VDV and Adebayor have been as wasteful as the kings of wasteful Melon and Silly racist. Step forward Snoop unleashing a thunder bolt, duly celebrated giving it the big portion.

Fair enough but it did take a deflection of Aussie rules.

Other scores


To the table and Prostitute top scored and Dre, Pooh bear and 666 also scored in the seventies. El Scorpiano regains his second spot after a dismal Gameweek for Ant. Sly moves up as does Dre. Master BT has a 30 point lead and there is almost 100 points diff in the top ten now.....